The first day

Yep.

Im here again. I remember how I used to write. To let my emotions out. It was right after my razor went across my arms.

The pain made me feel the world. Now.. Im grown up. Or so they say.

This blog, will represent the darkest side of humanity. Something you have never.. and will never represent.

There are two people sleeping in the room next to me. Friends. The only thing stopping me is the world and its regulations. I really am the insanity you feel. I only hold myself back because I am strong enough to adapt.

I remember joining a chatroom once. I dont remember my handle, but someone asked me "Can you kill me?" I didnt say yes, I asked more questions.

I can kill. But. I have that hope. Positive future, that I never give up.

I find it strange. I wouldnt cry over someones life. Yet I would feel sorrow over losing something that was never mine to begin with.

Like you, girlfriend not named. We are the perfect match. Yet you find the excuses. I made you smile. The insanity that is me. I created myself in an image of you. And you hate me. Despise me.

My first though. I will kill your friend. But then..

Love. I hate it. I want to understand the REAL you first, before I chose. Every path is open.

Even the one, that means I change to what you want. The happiness I can be. Throw away my past.

I can.. really be all that you want.